living amends A A. Daily Reflection One Day At A Time World

When someone is alive and you’ve hurt them, amends are more straightforward. You might go to that person and take responsibility for what you have done wrong, express you deep remorse, and ask what you can do to make it up to them. You may couple that making of amends with a request for forgiveness.

• Many treatment programs will include some kind of discussion on the impacts of your addiction on others and the ways we can repair that damage.
• Sometimes, you may not have the opportunity to make direct amends to the person you harmed.
• It’s not enough to say to someone that you apologize and feel badly for how you acted in the past.
• Reconnecting with loved ones is part of making amends.
• Making direct amends means actively confronting your behavior with the person who you harmed.
• It’s important to remember that recovery is a family process.

Avoid initiating a conversation if the other person is distracted or upset by something unrelated. If possible, schedule a time to speak with them in advance to prepare for the conversation.

Support for Me and My Family

These people are untraceable, and direct amends to them are not possible. The only amends I can make to those untraceable individuals, the only “changes for the better” I can offer, are indirect amends made to other people, whose paths briefly cross mine. Courtesy and kindness, regularly practiced, help me to live in emotional balance, at peace with myself.

And remember, if you are feeling ashamed about mistakes made and damage done during your using days, you are not your disease. It can be tempting to say things like “I’m sorry for everything I’ve done to you,” but try to avoid these blanket statements. They miss the opportunity to be truly reflective about how your wrongdoings have impacted the other person and can be misread. The other person may hear the same statement as exasperation with them or a minimizing of the ways you’ve hurt them. Instead, try to reference specific times when you hurt the other person and/or let them down.

Claim Your Recovery

She came home to what she described as “a completely different house”. My living amends to my mother is to be fully present in my life so I can be fully present in hers. These situations can all lead to the development of addiction. This is why family and loved ones need recovery, too.

Just like each person needs an individualized approach to alcohol addiction treatment, your approach to making amends in AA may look completely different from someone else’s. The amends I made to her was admitting my wrongs and shortcomings due to my addiction. My living amends is being the son she deserves–someone who will do for her as she has always done for me. It’s important to remember that recovery is a family process. And we don’t mean just in terms of you making amends and living a life of recovery. Many treatment programs will include some kind of discussion on the impacts of your addiction on others and the ways we can repair that damage.

What’s the Difference between Making Amends and Offering an Apology?

It ranged from promising to fix something around the house to going to a family gathering. I know I said it once, but I’ll say it again – if you are dealing with guilt and you haven’t read the articles above, now is the time. When my husband misses a turn because he’s in the wrong lane, I say nothing. When he runs out of medicine because he didn’t call the doctor for a refill, I trust he has the intelligence to solve his own problem. When he handles a situation at work “the wrong way” I keep my opinion to myself. Turns out, I was a bossy control freak who was terrified of everything.

• If you promised your son or daughter to be there to see them off to college, clean yourself up and show up.
• If possible, schedule a time to speak with them in advance to prepare for the conversation.
• In some cases, simply opening up a conversation with a friend or family member about your history of alcohol use can begin the process of making amends.
• Sometimes, making direct amends with someone may lead to further harm.
• Recovery is about repairing those relationships and using healthier communication and coping strategies.
• Making amends is one of the most important parts of 12 step programs.

We do not receive any commission or fee that is dependent upon which treatment provider a caller chooses. It is important for me to realize that, as an alcoholic, I not only hurt myself, but also those around living amends me. Making amends to my family, and to the families of alcoholics still suffering, will always be important. Understanding the havoc I created and trying to repair the destruction, will be a lifelong endeavor.

Making Living Amends

There may be so many times we feel we let someone down that it can be hard to know where to begin. We want to convey our heartfelt remorse but worry that our words will fall short. Say, for example, you’re preparing to make amends to a former coworker, whom you once stole from to pay for drugs.

The example of my sobriety may give others hope, and faith to help themselves. That is just one small example of what are living amends. Part of my living amends is also being the friend my friends deserve and the employee my employers hired in good faith.